By Sarah C. Roberts

Bachelorette parties are more proof that girls can party just as hard as the boys (like we needed more proof, right?). If the groomsmen can take their guy out for a night of debauchery (and guys, don’t even PRETEND like you’re going to go the classy route, we’re not fooled for a second), we can do the same for our special girl, right? As a bridesmaid/maid/matron of honor, one of your most important duties is to arrange a “last hurrah” for your soon-to-be-hitched friend. We’re going to assume, for the sake of fairness, that, unlike our male counterparts, you might at least consider something other than a male strip club as the venue for this most meaningful of nights out. (Notice I said “consider,” which means I totally acknowledge the fact that most of us are just as raunchy at heart as the boys and dig seeing a hot stranger’s nekked buns just as much as they do And ain’t it grand!)

The Logistics

Keep in mind what kind of activities the bride would enjoy, not what you and the other girls might prefer. Also keep timing in mind. She probably doesn’t want to go out the night before her wedding since swollen eyes and puking down the aisle are not what she hired the videographer to capture. If other bridesmaids live far away, you may want to consider having the bachelorette party at the same time as the shower ~ that also kills two pre-wedding birds with one stone.

To Booze or Not to Booze

As our parents always tried to tell us, you don’t need alcohol to have a good time.
A great bachelorette party doesn’t necessarily involve a wild night of drinking ~ spending time with the bride and enjoying each other’s company is what’s really important. You can enjoy any of the activities below with or without a cocktail in hand. But c’mon, most of us are going to opt for getting at least a wee bit tipsy, so here’s a warning: If you do plan on going ahead with a booze-fest, it is a MUST to provide transportation for everyone throughout the evening. After meeting at a central place, you can arrange for a car service to chauffeur your party around all night long in a limo or minivan ~ or, if it’s more practical, take taxis.

Get This Party Started

You can and probably should start with dinner, either at someone’s house (but why make someone clean up? Best to go out…) or at a restaurant. You can spice things up by asking guests to bring a gag gift ~ oh fine, I’ll just say it, by asking them to bring something sexual in nature. This is how a lot of brides fill in the gaps on their registry lists ~ handcuffs, flavored massage oils, feathered or edible underwear, “massagers.”
Want to get the groom involved? Try the Quiz the Groom game. Before the party, ask the groom some very personal questions about the relationship (this works best, of course, if it’s not the first time you’re meeting the groom!). Start with some sweet questions like, “Where was your first kiss?” or “What’s your favorite thing about Sarah?” before moving in for the kill: “What was your most embarrassing private moment?” or “How many times per night?” (Yeah, you might want to email the groom rather than ask him to answer in person. Unless you once dated the groom…or heck, we’re cool, unless you once dated the bride! In those cases, you might just want to skip Quiz the Groom altogether…and maybe the entire wedding, too.) Then ask the bride the same questions and see how many answers matched.

And now we come to one of my personal faves, Dirty Pictionary. This way, you get to embarrass everyone (especially the poor waiter taking your orders), not just the bride. It’s quite tricky to draw some of those things…especially to scale.

If It Ain’t Broke…Don’t Fix It

When in doubt, go with a format that has stood the test of time. Getting drunk and embarrassing the bride in public remains the most popular bachelorette party option. Big surprise, right? But to separate your party from the rest, try:

1. Preparing a special scavenger hunt for the bride. Make her earn her drinks as she collects items from the other bar patrons. Suggestions on what to have her gather? A XL condom, a cigar, a business card, a blonde guy, a roll of toilet paper from the men’s room…

2. Make her wear an obnoxious costume. Give her a hat decorated with condoms. Maybe a gaudy tiara or boa (is there any other kind of boa, really?). Or a Tshirt with an obnoxious slogan. Use your imagination. We have faith in you.

3. If you really want to call attention to yourselves, have the entire bachelorette party dress in a particular theme…Cowgirls? Harem girls? Don’t violate any public decency laws, but show a little skin…French maids, perhaps? Or go for irony and have everyone don men’s carpenter jeans and flannel shirts. (Hey, I know some guys who dig that look ~ don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it!)

4. Everyone has a sweet tooth…and usually a kinky sense of humor hidden deep (or not so deep) down. Add those to a love of fashion and what do you get? “Suck for a Buck!” Now wait, give me a chance to explain. Decorate a T-shirt with lots candy and offer the males at the bar a chance to remove ~ with their teeth ~ a piece of candy…and charge them $1 to do it. No, you don’t keep the money, you give it to the bride! If you think the bride might prefer a little company while having strange men chew confections of her body, then have each member of your party wear a candy necklace…and then let the guys have at it….and if they seem to be enjoying themselves too much, raise the price to $2 per suck…nibble….whatever.

More FUN Methods of Embarrassment:

Dancing

Another fab advantage of being a woman ~ it’s socially acceptable (or encouraged, if you happen to have a male audience!) to dance with each another! Take the party to a crazy club and dance the night away.

Karaoke

What could be more fun than humiliating the bride with a solo performance before a joining in with a group rendition of “That’s What Friends Are For?” Almost nothing, that’s what!

Booty, booty, booty

What’s says “Bachelorette party” more than naked men? Absolutely nothing, that’s what! But while many women really get into this kind of celebration, some don’t, and if your group contains any of the latter, and especially if it’s the BRIDE who won’t be amused, go in another direction. There’s very little more pathetic that a sweaty man gyrating on stage in a zipper-front g-string in front of a bunch of women with their hands over their eyes. But if your gang is all for it, then pitch in and make sure the bride has plenty of dollar bills…and then head straight for that g-string, Ladies!

The Mature Approach…or at least Not-So-Public…Approach

Some bachelorettes (OK, none of MY friends, but anyway…) prefer a more civilized night out, or at least one that doesn’t require a week-long recovery period afterwards. For them, you might want to try going to the theatre, a jazz club, a casino, a concert, a comedy club, a spa, or a wine-tasting tour. Most places will make special accommodations for groups and will help you plan a bachelorette party to remember ~ in a good way!

If you’d rather stay out of the public eye, plan a slumber party…with a twist.
Gather in a hotel room or in one of the bridesmaid’s living rooms/bedrooms. PJs only, and rent a whole bunch of nostalgic (or, if you’re THAT kind of bunch, dirty!) movies, pop open the champagne or even come up with special mixed drinks for the bride-to-be (the BrideTini, the VirTini (now don’t laugh, some girls save themselves…I hear…) and play games like breaking open a shlong-shaped piñata filled with little sex toys…c’mon, it’ll be your little secret (OH, and before I forget…you might want to have a group swearing-in before the party starts ~ make sure everyone promises that “…what happens here, stays here,” and that no-one sneaks out any pix or video on their camera phones to show to the groom or anyone else.).

Go Away

A very classy idea, if you and the bridesmaids can swing it, is pooling your financial resources for an out-of-town bachelorette weekend. Go somewhere of sentimental significance to the bride ~ like her favorite childhood beach or her college town. If she’s always talked about wanting to go to a particular place ~ to the mountains, skiing, maybe a tourist attraction? ~ try to make her dream come true as a very special pre-wedding gift. (NOTE: If the weekend is an extravagance, it can ABSOLUTELY count as the wedding gift from all of you, and I guarantee that it will be a lot more meaningful than ANY household gadget you could possibly get her!) Once you arrive at the destination, you can do any, all, or none of the activities we’ve talked about so far ~ just don’t forget to let the bride have some time to enjoy the sights that are the reason she wanted to go there in the first place!

And most importantly, even though the bachelorette party if for all you girls, it’s really for the bride-to-be, so make choices that will ensure that she has the time of her life!