Admit It, You Want to Look: The Balls are Back!
By Brian Goslow

The Balls weren’t two songs into their comeback gig at the Abbey Lounge’s White Trash Barbecue Bash when photos of frontman Andrey “The General” Krutov singing “I love your stink, I love your smell” (from their song “Middle Yeast”) were already being cell-phoned to the outside world with “check out this guy” text messages attached. More photo ops followed when, even with Madonna in town, Krutov set the single song crotch-grabbing record during “Swedish Fish” by fondling himself as if he were making a pizza.

Ah yes, The Balls, the group that had Worcester by, well, the balls a few years ago, are back with their tributes to forbidden loves of all varieties. “They’re all about the things in the minds of 90 percent of the people,” Krutov says proudly.

Krutov came to the United States from Russia in 1991, just prior to the disintegration of the Soviet Union, where he had played in an illegal teenage Moscow-based punk band. “We didn’t have a name, just a number,” he says. After performing Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” in English (a major infraction at the time), he was suspended from school for three days and forced to bring his parents to meet with school officials. “They said they had to control me.”

It remains to be seen if anyone can accomplish that formidable task, especially now that Krutov is back performing “…after three months of suicidal adventures at UMass,” informing us that “Hell doesn’t want me, Heaven isn’t sure, so you’re stuck with me now.”

So we are once again watching Hell’s reject staring up at the microphone like a deranged Quasimodo, singing Balls’ classics like “Sucky Laundromat” and “Bellovoda AK-47” and backed by former Balls drummer Brian Hoffman on bass and new recruits Jonny C (guitarist and ex-Rotten Lovers) and pre-performance Balls drummer John Wensky. Whereas The Balls 1.0 channeled the avant-garde feel of the ‘70s, The Balls 2.0 are more of a raw punk band. The first new addition to their song list is “My 16,” a Russian punk rock favorite.

When the closing number “Shiny Nipple” begins, Krutov’s pants have somehow come open and he’s got no inclination to refasten them. He makes eye contact with two women nearby who try to look away but can’t help peeking back at the spectacle on stage. And what a spectacle it is. “I’m not a singer, I’m a performer,” Krutov admits. “As long as they [the band] keep a tune, we’re set.”

The Balls return to Ralph’s on September 1.

www.myspace.com /theballsrule