I keep seeing these cute shorts everywhere! I find them in a store, then I try them on. The cut and fit are horrendous. So far, these shorts have fallen short of my expectations. They are like a really bad first date, where you think you are going out with a doctor, but he is just wearing a lab coat because he does experiments on Cheez Whiz in his mom’s basement. They look great on the rack, but tried on, they scream “People of Walmart.”

The easiest way to achieve these shorts is to make your own damn pair. You will get the exact fit and look you want and only spend about $10. The hardest part is finding the right kind of lace. The best places to find appliqués are online. But you can find them at craft stores or fabric stores, as well. If you are a mothercrafter, then use lace doilies or old curtains and cut out your own pattern.

Supplies

– Shorts or pants
– Appliqué or lace remnant
– Scissors
– Aleene’s Fabric Fusion (glue)
– Cheese grater
– Chalk
– Wine
– Jealous friend
– Life vest

Steps

1. This takes about 30 minutes, plus a few hours to dry the glue. Get your favorite pair of shorts and lay them directly over the shorts or pants you want to transform. Make a chalk outline about 2 inches from the desired short length. Follow the general line of your favorite shorts.

2. Cut the shorts following chalk line and then try on. You may want to cut along the seam on the outside to make the leg a little wider. If you have killer legs and don’t need to loosen seams, you can just go straight to hell. It is just not fair.

3. Next, make ½- to 2-inch cuts in a vertical fray pattern along the bottom edge of the shorts, about 2 inches apart. Once you have made all the cuts, you can begin to fray. Just pick the little strings out however you can. This is where you will need the wine. The fraying is tedious but gives great results. Next, take your cheese grater and start grating the shorts anywhere you want them to look distressed. Grate until you get the desired vintage and worn look.

4. Next, take your appliqué or lace remnant and look in the mirror to see where you want to place it. You may want to pin it into place on both sides to make sure the sides are even. Once you figure out placement, just glue the back of appliqué with Aleene’s and place it on the edging of the shorts, with or without pins. Either dry flat or do one leg at a time. Let dry for a few hours or overnight.

Now, show your jealous friend. Lie and tell her they are couture and you found them on clearance for $200 at some swanky, upscale, pompous beach boutique. Then, find a yacht, throw on your life vest and sail off into the sunset. Send me a postcard.

By Jamie Burke | Clothing model: Meaghan Burke