If you’ve ever watched the Bridget Jones movies and thought, “There’s no way this would ever really happen,” then you should pick up Melissa Kite’s latest memoir, The Art of Not Having it All (Thomas Dunne Books). Kite lives up to her reputation as a “Bridget Jones of the 21st century,” with her tales of juggling work, friends, and most of all, the seemingly impossible and hopeless task of finding her perfect mate.

When Kite turned down a marriage proposal from a nice Scottish lad at age 14 and then cancelled her wedding to another man 15 years later, she thought she’d have plenty of time to find the right beau. Now at 40, Kite, a successful writer and columnist for a London newspaper, tells her cautionary tale: The older you get, the slimmer the pickings. The author regales us with stories of relationships and dates gone bad, like the time she cut short a holiday in France because her then-boyfriend freaked out over the way her shoes were lined up. There’s also a date with a man she met online who can’t stop farting. Eventually, she finds her perfect match, albeit, with one major flaw: He’s gay (but that doesn’t stop her from fantasizing about their life together).

Being a single and 40 has challenges beyond finding a suitable mate, especially when it comes to fixing things around the house ~ leaking pipes, a malfunctioning cable box (cops and firefighters are involved on two different occasions) and properly taking out the trash bins. Adoption agencies ~ for both children and puppies ~ don’t take kindly to single women in their 40s, either. Even her well-intentioned protest of the city’s misuse of money manages to go awry.

My favorite example of Kite learning to embrace “not having it all” comes when she decides to take dance lessons to add some excitement to her life, per the suggestion of her friends. During her first lesson, every man yells at her for trying to lead (one of them wears a single white glove like Michael Jackson). Once she relaxes and lets the man do the work, she begins to enjoy herself.

Kite’s memoir is an honest story of self-acceptance and not having it all. Although at times she can be a drama queen, she’s also pretty practical about things ~ like the presence of “stomach cleavage” after shoving herself into a pair of skinny jeans. Whether you’re single or not, this is a book worth a few good laughs. It takes talent (whether it’s good writing or just plain bad luck) to turn so many ordinary situations into completely outrageous disasters, and Kite’s been kind enough to share them with you.

The book is available on Amazon and other online book retailers.

By Kimberly Dunbar