thePULSEBy Tine Roycroft
This year, 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) went from the crazed world of television to being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). Seeking community, she hit the Internet message boards and found herself hilariously assaulted by two warring sides ~ angry SAHMs, who believed they’re correct in leaving the workforce, and irate working moms, who think they’re correct for staying employed.
As tension on the message board rises, Liz Lemon finds herself agreeing to meet one mother at a nearby playground for a brawl. It’s hilarious; it’s hyperbole. But underneath the laughs, the question lurks: Do women need to choose between careers and kids, or can they “have it all?”
In Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article, “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” (The Atlantic, June, 2012), the Princeton professor wrote that having both kids and a high-power career can only be achieved if a woman is rich, self-employed or superhuman. Greater societal changes are needed, she argued, for women are to succeed in the office and in the home.
Meg Fox-Kelly, assistant chaplain and director of retreats at Holy Cross and mother to three children, recently participated with Slaughter and Fidelity Investments’ former Senior Vice President Sheila Cavanaugh in a panel, “Measuring Success: Women, Work and Family in the 21st Century.”
Fox-Kelly was happy to see that the event, which was part of a series celebrating Holy Cross’s 40th anniversary of co-education, was well-attended and that several men were present for the discussion.
“It was a wonderful evening,” Fox-Kelly said. “The audience shared how challenging the situation can be, as well as what workplaces can do to be supportive.”
A number of concerns came to light during the discussion, according to Fox-Kelly. Access to affordable, dependable child care; the need for a better connection between school and work hours; and supportive workplaces were among the common themes of the night.
“Many kids get out of school at 3 p.m.,” Fox-Kelly said. “But if you don’t get out of work until 6 or 7 p.m., that’s not ideal. So much goes on with kids during those hours after school lets out, and it’s important to be there.”
For now, there appear to be no simple answers to these wide-arching issues, but there are leads. Flexibility and creativity are two words that come to mind for Fox-Kelly when she thinks of achieving balance.
“For myself, I try to flexible and creative on how and where my work is done,” she said. “And workplaces need to be supportive of women having families. Luckily, I have the support and understanding of my director. I don’t have all the answers; I’m figuring it out as I go along.”
In the search for work/life balance, an extremely helpful component is a supportive partner ~ one who is willing to do the same amount housework and child care. But according to a recent Pew Research Center study, fathers are not immune to feeling the stress of both a career and a family. About 53 percent of all working parents with children younger than 18 say it is difficult for them to balance the responsibilities of their job with the responsibilities of their family, the survey indicated. In addition, 56 percent of mothers and 50 percent of fathers say juggling work and family life is difficult for them.
Despite the somewhat sobering discussions and study findings, spirits remain high. Fueled with the knowledge that those who are struggling to find balance are open to speaking about the challenges they face, people like Fox-Kelly are looking to the future with optimism.
“I feel hopeful,” Fox-Kelly said. “The conversation has been started. There will be a lot of changes that need to take place, but I feel those changes will take place over time.”
