Style Choices That Speak Volumes (and what they’re saying)
By Courtney E. Danielson

It’s been said that women dress mostly to impress other women, and I firmly believe that is true. I mean, a girl is going to look at another chick’s outfit and examine the most minute details, whereas a dude is simply going to take note of the skin to clothing ratio. However, women in general are usually trying to send a message to everyone in the room ~ male or female ~ and the easiest way to do that is to dress for the part she wants to play. Most guys, however, are just happy they put their shoes on the right feet and that their shirt doesn’t have a hole in the armpit. In most cases, a guy is never going to be worried about the message his clothing is sending; however, at some point while he was “getting ready” (if you want to call it that) he did make decisions which convey his expectations for the night to come.

So, allow me to decode the hidden messages in the clothing of the sexes, so that on your next night out you know who’s down for a good time…and who’s going to be a downer.

A Female’s Frocks

The Little Black Dress When it comes to a night on the town, black is almost always the go-to color for women. Every girl feels hot wearing a little black dress (or a little black skirt, or a little black tank top…). The goal is to keep it classy but subtly inviting (and yes, choosing and wearing the right LBD without looking like a, well, you fill in the [obvious] blank is an art form), so guys, consider a LBD (or a “little black” anything) pretty much a green light to chat her up. She’s dressed to impress, so give it a shot, my friend ~ just be sure to treat her like a lady (even if her “dress” is so barely-there it looks like an elongated censor strip, be on your best behavior).

Jeans and a Shirt For every day life, jeans and a shirt are every modern-day girl’s go to outfit. Even if she’s an heiress, she is still probably rocking jeans (albeit super expensive ones) and a top when she runs out to do lunch with her bff. But when it comes to her going-out attire, “jeans and a shirt” diverge into two options that take on vastly different meanings.

Option #1: If the shirt’s a nice top, the jeans are dark denim, and the shoes are heels ~ you’re probably good to go. Chat her up and see what happens ~ she put some thought into her outfit, so she obviously wants to get some recognition for her effort.

Option #2: If the shirt’s a Tshirt, the jeans are light colored, and the shoes are flip-flops or sneakers… tread lightly. This ensemble is dangerously close to “I’m heading to the convenience store for some milk” and is only one step above the definitive “Do not speak to me” uniform. Which brings us to…

Yoga pants and a tank top Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. This chick was dragged out by her friends and is most likely pretty bitter about it. Her outfit is a not-so-subtle sign that she has no interest in … well, pretty much anything, but especially being hit on. If you try to talk to her you’ll get an eye roll ~ if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll get to listen to some chick you don’t know bitch about her friends all night.

A Dude’s Duds

Guys have it easy. In almost all social scenarios (assuming it isn’t a costume party or a black-tie affair), the male of our species tend to wear the same outfit with slight variations. The foundation of the uniform is jeans, a shirt, and some form of footwear. The differences are small, but speak volumes.

Option #1: Take a look. Are his shoes black? No baseball hat in sight? Well then ~ you’re in luck! He put some effort into his look, which means he’s out to impress someone. Is it you? Who knows, it could just be that his girlfriend bitched him out for always looking like a slob (watch out for her!), but why not see where the wind takes you?

Option #2: If he’s wearing a baseball cap and/or sneakers, don’t even bother. If there is a TV in the building, he is probably glued to whatever sporting event is being broadcast. If there’s no TV around, he’s probably catching the highlights on his iPhone. If there’s a hooded sweatshirt in sight …he might as well be sitting in his living room. You could shimmy by wearing nothing but a smile and he’s just be annoyed that you momentarily blocked the TV.

So, there you have it ~ a quick and dirty guide to determining whether the cutie in the corner is more likely to welcome your approach or try hiding under the table until you get the hint. . To summarize: if the attire looks like all it’s missing is a bag of Doritos/a container of Ben and Jerry’s and a remote control, best to move along and try to find a more promising option…