This year, what with the cold weather and bare trees, it’s been kind of hard to tell that Spring is here. So thank goodness, then, that for the 3rd year in a row you could count on one of the sure signs that Spring has sprung, the Worcester Music Awards. Just as in years past, this year’s event was killer ~ from our hosts at Tammany Hall to our MC to the fans to the performers to the presenters to the nominees and winners, everyone came ready to show local music and musicians a whole lotta love. Our thanks go out to each and every one of you who nominated, voted, attended, sponsored (Rolling Rock Beer, City Music, Kurlan Music, Union Music, Chambers Guitar Works, Miraculous Creations, Adrenaline PR, Flesh by Design, ClubSkinny.com, Dean Cascione, Tush Denim Boutique, Central Rock Climbing Gym, SIT Strings, and Muncheez Pizzeria), and in any way supported the Awards ~ they’re a collaborative effort and we couldn’t have done it without you!

Special thanks go out to the performers who rocked it all throughout the night and kept the audience on its feet ~ I Rise, Black River Sound, Dean Cascione, Matt Shwachman Band, and Debris (and Steve Fox, who did a spur-of-the-moment human beatbox set that was amazing!) ~ and to the presenters who helped us [finally!] reveal the 2009 Worcester Music Awards winners ~ our very own Jillian Locke and Alex Kantarelis, and Jeff Royds of BostonGarageBands.com. A round of applause too, please, for our Trophy Girl, Kara Olsen. And where would we have been without MC extraordinaire Mike Hsu of WAAF! He was, as they say, The Man! Thank you, Mike, you rock!!

And now, we proudly present interviews with and photos of the winners of Pulse Magazine’s 2009 Worcester Music Awards!

Flock of Assholes: Winner, Best Cover/Tribute Band, Best Live Act, Band with the Best Groupies

First off, give me 5 words to describe the band. Wet. Unduplicatable. Fromage (that’s French for “awesome”). Terrifying. Prompt.

Name of members and who plays what. Simon LeBoner sings, Stinq plays bass, Kaiser GooGoo plays tickles his ivories, Andy Hummers plays guitar, Waldo (aka Totally Awesome) blows things and Alex Van Handjob is the man on the skins.

What’s your first memory of wanting to be in a band? Ironically, none of us has ever, and still does not want to be in a band. We’d all like to be dog groomers.

First song you heard that you wish you’d written? “Ring Around the Rosie.” Such a dark and powerful song about death.

Off the record ~ those country music chicks ~ pretty damn hot, huh? We’re vegetarian, so we don’t eat chicken. Only occasional fish.

Did “video kill the radio star,” or is a band’s music starting to become more important than its videos/image again? Actually, we feel that Facebook has killed the Myspace star, which in turn killed the Youtube star, which had taken the place of the video star, which died of natural causes.

What’s the worst guitar solo you’ve ever heard? Andy Hummers playing “Walk Like an Egyptian.”

Which comes first in your creative process – lyrics or music? Actually, a Gonesh incense stick and some meditation come first. Then we usually forget what we initially planned to do and scrap the whole idea.

Confess your one musical guilty pleasure. “My Humps” by Black Eyed Peas.

A lot of people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead?Female siblings with benefits.

Ever sneak backstage at a show? We sneak ONSTAGE at our own shows.

Dream endorsement would be…? Chess King.

Ever have a fashion malfunction onstage? Yes. Sting’s tear-away onesie caught on his skin and ripped a good 30% of his flesh off. It was terrible.

What’s your favorite form of exercise to keep in shape for performing? The shot put. Put the shot glass to the lips and tip.

Writing, performing, recording, drinking, groupies ~ what’s your favorite part about being a musician? It’s hard to compete with the adoration of millions of fans, but really, the greatest part is definitely getting the satisfaction of packing up our own gear at 2am.

Who’s the biggest diva of the group? Simon, definitely. He needs us all to clear the room when he’s doing his Aqua Netting and hair-teasing and will only perform on a freshly Futured stage.

Most underrated musician of all time? Most overrated? Underrated: the other guy from Wham. Overrated: the other other guy in Wham.

What would you prefer, playing to 250 people who aren’t listening or 50 who hang on your every note? We actually like to play in front of a consistent 82 people, equidistant from each other and all hanging on the lighting truss.

What’s the most difficult part of what you do? Constantly being brilliant and beautiful.

If you were deserted on an island and only had 3 albums to listen to, what would they be? If we were deserted on an island, we would be far too freaked out by the whole situation to listen to music. Think about these questions before you ask them.

If jazz fusion is dead, why do so many techno artists keep sampling the riffs? Jazz fusion is dead? What happened? Did somebody kill Herbie Hancock?

If you could swap places with any famous musician for 24 hours who would it be and what kind of damage would you cause? We would love to all swap places with the members of the Jonas Brothers and we would make love to each other because they are so beautiful.

Have you ever had stage fright/forgotten the words/music/etc while on stage? If so, how’d you handle it? We improvise all of our music. We never play the same song twice. Actually, we never play the same song once.

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? How centrally located it is, of course. It’s very convenient.

One question you WISH we would ask you? Does God exist? We have no answer to that question, however.

Honest preference ~ getting panned by the critics but selling out arenas or being the critics’ darling and playing small clubs forever? We actually prefer to be given pans and pots from a small gaggle of critics who are related by marriage to several fans which could fill up a half-full cup which was previously half-empty.

If you weren’t a musician, you’d be a…? Answering these questions for a living. None of us is really a musician, if you haven’t noticed.

Last concert you saw? Next one you’re planning to catch? We went to see Stevie Wonder, but unfortunately, he didn’t’ see us.

Next gig is where and when? Every Thursday at the Lucky Dog. Usually later in the evening.

Anyone you’d like to thank for anything? We would like to thank Wilfred Brimley for all the fine work that he’s done for diabetes.

The Bee’s Knees: Winner, Best Country/Americana Act (Questions answered by the very witty Mr. Michael Thibodeau)

Who plays what: Michael Thibodeau ~ vocals and rhythm guitar, Ed Barnett ~ vocals and lead guitar, John Donovan ~ vocals and bass guitar, Looking for a drummer

What’s your first memory of wanting to be in a band? Hearing “I Want To Hold You Hand,” even though it came out 20 years earlier.

Off the record ~ those country music chicks ~ pretty damn hot, huh? Totally

Your worst band fight EVER was about…? The last beer

Which comes first in your creative process – lyrics or music? Yes

Confess your one musical guilty pleasure. Ace of Base

A lot of people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead? “Wife.”

Writing, performing, recording, drinking, groupies ~ what’s your favorite part about being a musician? The camaraderie

Who’s the biggest diva of the group? Ed Barnett, by light years

What are your feelings on American Idol? Satan’s doing or a heaven-sent for music? It is good for a laugh.

What would you prefer, playing to 250 people who aren’t listening or 50 who hang on your every note? Smaller the better.

What’s the most difficult part of what you do? Scheduling

If you were deserted on an island and only had 3 albums to listen to, what would they be? It changes weekly, but right now: Big Star ~ No.1 Record, Steve Earl ~ Transcendental Blues, Wilco ~ Sky Blue Sky

Have you ever karaoked? If so, how drunk were you and what was your song of choice? I have and it does not take much to get me on a stage. I think the best was “Rock ‘n Roll All Night” by Kiss. I think there is a youtube video out there.

Have you ever had stage fright/forgotten the words/music/etc while on stage? If so, how’d you handle it? I forget words at every gig. It is called Scott Ricciuti Disease. Look it up.

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? The friendships and the friendly competitions. Nothing is cut-throat; it is about making good music and enjoying the company.

If money were no issue ~ would you all live together in one mega-mansion of depravity or would you all have your own separate homes? If we all lived together, there would be deaths.

Honest preference ~ getting panned by the critics but selling out arenas or being the critics’ darling and playing small clubs forever? Tough call. I have played enough small clubs, but I still enjoy it. Money is good though. I guess the ideal answer is being a one hit wonder, make tons of money, and stay in the small clubs once everyone forgets you.

If you weren’t a musician, you’d be a…? A crazy person in the nut house

Ever sneak backstage at a show? All the time

DJ Reckless: Winner, Best Club DJ

First off, give me 5 words to describe your style. Loud, unique, massive, lsexy, roguish.

Is there a stereotype about DJs that you’d like to set us straight about? I’ve been in the game for a hot minute. I’ve dropped records in 37 states and over 20 different countries to date. Let’s get this straight ~ the art of the DJ has evolved plenty over the past 20 years. Some for the good and some for the bad. There are way too many posers and undercutters out there that screw the game up for us real cats! Everybody wants to be a DJ, yet so few of us actually master the craft.

You spend some time in LA, too ~ what do you bring back here from your time there? What I bring from LA is my ever-changing style and the art of suspense. What I’ve realized on the east coast is that the overall style of the average DJ is boring. It’s usually the same format, songs, and lame mixing transitions. In LA, there is more of a diverse music scene, so you find yourself catering to the crowd differently by dropping different genres to create an eclectic mix. I Want to be that DJ who the crowd never knows what I’m gonna drop next!

Have you ever, or would you like to, teach a young DJ the ropes? It’s already in the works. I have a 2 ? year old little girl, Kalea. She’s always wanting to come and mess around with the hardware downstairs in my studio. She loves the buttons. One day, I decided I would put her on my radio show. I produce my shows from home due to the fact that they are syndicated. The look on her face when she was in the lab was indescribable. I want to pass everything that I know and have acquired onto that little girl in all aspects of life!

What’s going through your head when you’re spinning a great song and everyone’s having the time of their lives at the club? The difference between me and many others is that I make a lot of my own music and remixes. It’s always good to see people having a good time to someone else’s beats, but when you re-created a track, or it’s one of your originals, the feeling is a lot more satisfying!

A lot of people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead? That word really doesn’t apply to me ~ LMFAO! Why don’t you ask wifey, she should probably give you a few words!

What are your feelings on American Idol? Satan’s doing or a heaven-sent for music? American Idol is great from a big business perspective, creating a major American empire. From an overall artist perspective, it’s not that great. If you’re a serious artist, here are 3 things that I learned in Cali: never be on a reality TV show, a game show, or play a super hero in a movie. Reality TV is scripted 90% of the time to make you look like a fool. Game shows do the same. With the exception of Sly Stallone, what super hero has ever gone on to have a legitimate career? Ask yourself this question, who played Batman in the Batman sequel? As for American Idol, what ever happened to the people that didn’t win on the first season?

In 5 years, you’ll be…? In 5 years, I hope to see everyone important in my world happy and secure in life and in good health. Life is short. Time flies. I live my life for today but I plan for tomorrow, having a little one and all. Musically, I hope to see the likes of DJ Nathan turn into the producer that he’s striving so hard to become. Business-wise, I can’t wait to see what my business partner, DJ Ramma, accomplishes in 5 years, I’ll still be here doing what I do, hopefully with my 7 year old protégé creating havoc!

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? I can’t forget about the great promoters that I’ve had the privilege to work with out here. 978 stand up! Scoop for killing it with me for a year in North County. Jimmy Kang for introducing Worcester to my style. It’s a great pleasure working with John Pypes and Seagrave on a weekly basis. The Blurry Nights crew is on the up and up!

Anyone you’d like to thank for anything? I have a great support mechanism. First off, Nikki for dealing with my BS over and over again, always making sure that our family life stays on point, whether I’m right here or across the globe. Dan and Gram, for being there, and basically bailing me out of all of my troubles and wrong-doings growing up. Jeff Bowler, for believing in me, making my California dream a reality and much more. Jap, for always supporting my music and being my best friend. Rams and Ang for creating homebase, and giving the 978 crew a place to always get money!

Full Tilt: Winner, Best CD, Best Up and Comers Act (Questions answered by the charming Justin Molasion)

First off, give me 5 words to describe the band. Loud Addicting, Melodic, Foot-stomping, Aggressive

Who plays what? Justin Molasion ~ Vocals, Ben Olendzki ~ Guitar, Mike Fretwell ~ Guitar, Adam Wiedmer ~ Bass, Mark Molina ~ Drums

First song you heard that you wish you’d written? Jeff Buckley’s “Last Goodbye”

One [music industry] person whose autograph you’re dying to get? Dave Grohl

Off the record ~ those country music chicks ~ pretty damn hot, huh? I’ll have me a slice of that honky-tonk badonkadonk and top it off with a longneck bottle….

Did “video kill the radio star,” or is a band’s music starting to become more important than its videos/image again? I wish I could say that a band’s image wasn’t important, but unfortunately it is. It’s great that the “image” these days isn’t Boy Band-esque but you’ve got to “look” the part…..Did it kill the radio star? No…The Buggles did that….

What’s the worst guitar solo you’ve ever heard? Any of the one note bending Neil Young solos on his old stuff. “Southern Man” and “Words” come to mind…

What are your feelings on American Idol? Satan’s doing or a heaven-sent for music? Satan’s doing…even though I actually tried out for that stupid show….I made it to the three judges and had to beat them to death with their own shoes….but that’s another story altogether. Which comes first in your creative process ~ lyrics or music? ALWAYS Music. I have a hell of a time coming up with lyrics…sometimes I get lucky and I’ll have a chorus…..but for the most part, it’s usually the music first….

Best movie ever about the music industry/a band? HAHAHA Either Almost Famous or ROCKSTAR!

Confess your one musical guilty pleasure. Bad pop music from the 90s.

A lot of people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead? Definitely Band-Aids

Dream endorsement would be…? Patron

Writing, performing, recording, drinking, groupies ~ what’s your favorite part about being a musician? Performing. It’s always a different show every night depending on the mood of the audience and even more so the mood of us five guys on the stage….so performing is my favorite.

Who’s the biggest diva of the group? AHAHA…They’d all say me…and I’d have to agree….

Most underrated musician of all time? Most overrated? Underrated ~ A great group of guys that broke up in the early part of 2000: Mad At Gravity. Overrated ~ I’m going to get a TON of flack for this but The Boss…Springsteen’s career is built on his limited vocal range and inability to write a song that doesn’t talk about Jersey or his record deal…..

What would you prefer, playing to 250 people who aren’t listening or 50 who hang on your every note? 50 who hang on to every note…There’s been several shows when we first started out when we played for like 5 people….and those people were intently listening to what we did. Playing to an audience that wants to hear music is better than playing to an audience that couldn’t care less. Of course, it is fun to play with those 250 who aren’t really listening….and usually you can get at least a few of them to stop and listen.

If you were deserted on an island and only had 3 albums to listen to, what would they be? Led Zeppelin ~ II, Jeff Buckley ~ Grace, Soundgarden ~ Superunknown

Have you ever karaoked? If so, how drunk were you and what was your song of choice? Every Wed. night you can find me and a bunch of my friends out at the various karaoke establishments….depending on how drunk I am…I like to do “Dream On,” “Still Of The Night,” or “The Humpty Dance.”

If you could swap places with any famous musician for 24 hours who would it be and what kind of damage would you cause? Hands down, Tommy Lee…and damage, that’s self explanatory…..

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? How awesome the fans are and how dedicated they are to the local music scene in this state. I have never met such true lovers of and believers in live music.

Last concert you saw? Next one you’re planning to catch? I just caught Shinedown/10 Years at the HOB and I’m going to see Sevendust/BLS this week!

In 5 years, you’ll be…? Famous…DUH!

Next gig is where and when? Lucky Dog Music Hall, May 15th.

Ken Macy: Winner, Best Blues/R & B Act, Best Solo Act

First off, give me 5 words to describe yourself as a performer. Fun, energetic, unpredictable, honest, passionate

First song you heard that you wish you’d written? There’s a lot, but currently I’d have to say “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me” by The Jayhawks. Has a 60s feel to it and the lyrics are great!

What’s your favorite form of exercise to keep in shape for performing? Eating hamburgers.

Which comes first in your creative process ~ lyrics or music? It’s split 50/50.

Best movie ever about the music industry/a band? “This Is Spinal Tap.” It’s so funny and it really touches upon the ridiculousness and small details about being in a band/being a rock star. The amps go to 11!

A lot of people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead? EnthusiasticFemaleFans.

Dream endorsement would be…? Any endorsement. Free stuff is awesome!

Writing, performing, recording, drinking, groupies ~ what’s your favorite part about being a musician? Writing and performing songs that connect with people. It’s a great feeling when people enjoy what you have written, recorded and performed.

Most underrated musician of all time? Mike Campbell from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Great guitar player!

If you were deserted on an island and only had 3 albums to listen to, what would they be? Tom Petty ~ Full Moon Fever, The Jayhawks ~ Hollywood Town Hall, Stevie Wonder ~ Definitive Collection

Have you ever karaoked? If so, how drunk were you and what was your song of choice? Once. I sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen at this bar. It was pretty funny. I didn’t realize how hard the song was to sing until about ? of the way through. It was like I ran a marathon.

If you could swap places with any famous musician for 24 hours who would it be and what kind of damage would you cause? Probably David Lee Roth from Van Halen (back when they started). He looked like he had a great time onstage and I’m sure he had fun offstage. Plus it’d be cool to do splits and ride around on a huge inflatable… microphone.

Have you ever had stage fright/forgotten the words/music/etc while on stage? If so, how’d you handle it? I think every musician at some point flubbed lyrics onstage. The best part is what the performer does with the flub. That makes it memorable, fun and interesting. I will usually add a joke line about something that’s going on in the room or in pop culture and that usually saves me and the song.

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? The diverse groups that are in one small area. If you look around New England, it’s pretty remarkable that we’re surrounded by such amazing talent.

Anyone you’d like to thank for anything? I’d like to thank my fans for they’re constant love and support. You guys rock!

Next gig is where and when? Please check www.kenmacymusic.com for all gigs.

Skulltoboggan: Winners, Best Hardcore/Metal Act (Questions answered by the multi-talented G*Spawt)

First off, give me 5 words to describe the band. Adventurous, Durable, Insane, Lovable & Unique

Who plays what? Craig Steven “G*Spawt” Gaumond ~ Lead Vocalist, Eric “E-Dawg” Corbett ~ Bass Guitar, Backing Vocals, Jefferson “O-Ring” Bourguignon ~ Lead Guitar, Rob “Dexx” Dexter ~ Drums, Tommy “T-Bone” Ward ~ Guitar, Backing Vocals

What’s your first memory of wanting to be in a band? When I first heard The Doors and then Kiss, that pretty much did it for me. I loved the way Jim Morrison performed, the way he would mesmerize an audience and then in one fell swoop he would then transform his audience into an uncontrollable, chaotic sea of humanity. His lyrics / poetry, damn some of that sh*t was out there, but you could ask three different people to interpret what he was saying in any given song and you would receive three different answers. Musically, they were a very solid band. They were my first influence and I wanted to be in a band like that. As for Kiss, when I discovered them I absolutely loved everything about them. They are one of, if not the, greatest live performance spectacles ever to take the stage. As a child, before receiving my first guitar as a gift, I would play the hell out of my air guitar to these cats. I wore out three copies each of “Rock and Roll Over” and “Love Gun.” To this day, they remain one of my favorite bands ever!

First song you heard that you wish you’d written? “Big Balls” by AC/DC

One [music industry] person whose autograph you’re dying to get? Paula Abdul

Ever have a fashion malfunction onstage? Yes, actually. The top button on my shorts popped off while I was singing at The Palladium back in 2005. I was not wearing a belt. I felt the button pop and then the shorts began to work themselves down my thighs. Now, I seldom wear underwear, so I had to reach for them quickly before I was exposed to all in front of me. I motioned to a backstage hand to find me something to use as a belt and he gave me his. Luckily we were in the same ballpark in waist size.

What’s your favorite form of exercise to keep in shape for performing? Sex.

Your worst band fight EVER was about…? What the hell happened to all the beer???

What’s the worst guitar solo you’ve ever heard? I can’t solo to save my life, so I would say any that I attempt.

Best movie ever about the music industry/a band? Rock Star. I love that movie. Not sure how many times I’ve seen it, but it’s right up there with This is Spinal Tap.

Confess your one musical guilty pleasure. I carry no guilt for anything I listen to. If I like it, I’ll proudly listen to it. If you don’t like it, f*ck ya!

Many people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead? Well, our groupies are called “Skullskanks.” I’m sure there are some out there that find that way more offensive than the word “groupies.” I find both words to be neither offensive nor degrading in any way shape or form. Relax people. Music of all genres and the people that support it, enjoy it or whatever they do to it is meant to be FUN!

Dream endorsement would be…? Hustler

Writing, performing, recording, drinking, groupies ~ what’s your favorite part about being a musician? All of the above.

Who’s the biggest diva of the group? Though I would never throw my name out there, my band mates would unanimously select me.

Most underrated musician of all time? Most overrated? Underrated…Philip Lynott. Overrated…Axl Rose

You were a nominee/winner last year ~ has your music changed in the past 12 months? Yes it has. Not only have we brought in two new band members, we also have written a crop of new material that has brought us into a different direction. A bit heavier in some cases, a bit more melodic on others. The reviews have been very favorable thus far.

What are your feelings on American Idol? Satan’s doing or a heaven-sent for music? Crap! Though I do find the auditions at times to be hilarious.

Which would you prefer, playing to 250 people who aren’t listening or 50 who hang on your every note?Obviously, performing to an audience that’s totally digging what you’re doing is what it’s all about. As musicians we must perform at 110% each and every time we take the stage whether we are performing to a packed venue or to a smaller audience. We must bring it, always!

What’s the most difficult part of what you do? Trying to reach those Mariah Carey-like vocal octaves on a consistent basis.

If you were deserted on an island and only had 3 albums to listen to, what would they be? The Wall ~ Pink Floyd, Shout at the Devil ~ Motley Crue, Best of The Doors

Have you ever karaoked? If so, how drunk were you and what was your song of choice? Oh my yes! The first time was to “Revolution” by The Beatles and yes I was f*cking trashed!!! I then went on to do a duet with my date of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John & Kiki Dee. We brought the house down, yo!!

If jazz fusion is dead, why do so many techno artists keep sampling the riffs? Dead, no. Many artists sample riffs, etc. from many different sources. God bless ‘em. We’ve been considering sampling some Liberace into our mix. Whatcha think of that?

If you could swap places with any famous musician for 24 hours who would it be and what kind of damage would you cause? Ice T. Not sure I would cause damage, but ‘ol Ice has got a pretty good thing going on.

Have you ever had stage fright/forgotten the words/music/etc while on stage? If so, how’d you handle it? No stage fright, but forgotten lyrics will occur if I’m under the influence. I try to avoid situations like that. Hmm…perhaps a teleprompter could be on the horizon…

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? Many cool cats here. I’ve made many great contacts and friends since being a part of the Central MA music scene. Rock on y’all!

If money were no issue ~ would you all live together in one mega-mansion of depravity or would you all have your own separate homes? Probably separate homes. Most of us have children and are either married or are in committed relationships. Besides, we would kill each other if we lived together.

One question you WISH we would ask you? You really don’t want to go there!

Honest preference ~ getting panned by the critics but selling out arenas or being the critics’ darling and playing small clubs forever? Critics shmitics! Give us those sold out arenas, baby!!

If you weren’t a musician, you’d be a…? A motivational speaker and I’d live in a van down by the river.

Anyone you’d like to thank for anything? Thank you to everyone that nominated us. We really appreciate the love!

THE NUMBSKULLS: Winner, Best Punk Act

First off, give me 5 words to describe the band. Four piece Neo-Traditionalist punk

Who plays what? Alex ~ Vocals, guitar. James ~ Guitar, vocals. Jay ~ Drums. Lysie ~ Bass.

One [music industry] person whose autograph you’re dying to get? Autographs are just excuses to breath on someone famous.

Off the record ~ those country music chicks ~ pretty damn hot, huh? If you like fake nice and coy in a church way.

Did “video kill the radio star,” or is a band’s music starting to become more important than its videos/image again? Nobody likes ugly people period.

Which comes first in your creative process – lyrics or music? The best songs are written while waiting for Lysie to come back from the bathroom.

A lot of people think the word “groupies” has a negative connotation. What word would you use instead? I don’t know. Soulless Clingons?

Ever have a fashion malfunction onstage? “On purpose” is probably the opposite of “malfunction” isn’t it?

What’s your favorite form of exercise to keep in shape for performing? Holding back every single truthful thought and emotion inside.

Most underrated musician of all time? Well of course it’s us. Both times.

What are your feelings on American Idol? Satan’s doing or a heaven-sent for music? Satan doesn’t like Top 40. We’re not best friends with him of course, but seriously, he would not approve.

Have you ever karaoked? Karaoke is serious business, you only have a few chances to impress everyone with your unassuming work casual exterior and your rock awesome voice and stage presence.

You were a nominee/winner last year ~ have you changed your music at all over the past 12 months? Not even our pants.

If jazz fusion is dead, why do so many techno artists keep sampling the riffs? Because it is dead so nobody is suing.

Have you ever had stage fright/forgotten the words/music/etc while on stage? If so, how’d you handle it? We write songs without words for this reason.

What do you appreciate most about the Central MA music scene? It’s central location.

If money were no issue ~ would you all live together in one mega-mansion of depravity or would you all have your own separate homes? We all live in one house already. Most of the rooms don’t have lights. How’s that for depravity??

One question you WISH we would ask you? (And yes, you can ask it yourself and then answer it.) “Why don’t you work harder at getting your music out there? You do realize that there’s only so far to go before you become pathetic?” This is one we probably wouldn’t answer anyway.

Honest preference ~ getting panned by the critics but selling out arenas or being the critics’ darling and playing small clubs forever? We’re just happy when the drunks dance.

If you weren’t a musician, you’d be a…? A janitor. Or the woman that ties the bib on you at the dentist.

Uncle Billy’s Smokehouse: Winner, Best Rock Act and Best Jam and Groove Act (Questions answered by the delightful Jody Ryan)

Give us 5 words that describe the essence of UBS. Neo-classic, ultrasymphonic, raging party rock.

Who plays what? We are Sean Ryan (lead vocal, guitar), Jody Ryan (lead vocal, keys), Janky Bones (bass, vocals) and Brad Simmons (drums, vocals)

What’s your first “musical memory?” My first musical memory would have to be when I was about 4 yrs old and we lived in Florida. Sean told me if I lay on the couch and listened to Magical Mystery Tour I would float through the roof into the sky and go on a magical mystery tour too. I remember laying there with my eyes closed ready to float away. Then it happened…

Whose autograph are you dying to get? Jimi Hendrix’s

Weigh in on American Idol. They get some good singers sometimes but I think if you can write a song that people love and remember forever then it usually doesn’t matter if the singer’s good or not ~ it’s the song that really counts. I think American Idol is like a “Best of” karaoke contest.

Ever karaoked? Yes, I have karaoked. I was drunk every time and it had to be “Just A Gigolo,” the David Lee Roth version. I’ve already apologized for this.

What’s the band’s dream endorsement? Our dream endorsement would have to be Exxon or Mobil or something. They must have tons of money.

Any onstage fashion malfunctions you can share with us? We did have a fashion malfunction once. Brad stood up after a sick drum solo and his pants were gone. He played his damn pants off.

What’s the toughest part about being musicians? The most difficult part of what we do is waking up the next day.

What’s the one question you WISH I would ask you? I wish you had asked me to ask you if you were a tree. Then I would ask, “Are you a tree?” and you would say, “No.”

When and where can we catch UBS next? Our next show is at Chaser’s in Worcester on May 2nd! Do it.

And Congratulations to all the other WMA winners!

Best Live Venue: Tammany Hall

Music Station Most Supportive of Local Acts: WAAF

Best Rap/Hip Hop Act: Applesauce

Local Band You Want to See Reunite: 12 Step Program

Best Radio Dj: Mistress Carrie

Best Jazz Act: Johnny Dollar Experiment

Best Female Vocalist: Melissa Gates

Best Male Vocalist: Zach Weeks

Best Jam and Groove Act: Uncle Billy’s Smokehouse

Best Pop Act: The Deadites

Sexiest Musician: Melissa Gates

Best Local Band Who Made It Big: Four Year Strong

…and the very special, for many reasons…

Local Legend Award: Cliff Goodwin

Lifetime Achievement Award: Steve Going

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How the Worcester Music Awards Work

(or, Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know about the WMAs but Were Afraid to Ask and Preferred to Assume)

So, here’s the thing. We LOVE all the Comments that you guys write in to www.thepulsemag.com about the Awards (actually, we really dig the Comments that you post about anything Pulse or Pulse-related!) ~ we love the good ones, the bad ones, the funny ones, the totally misguided ones, and especially the ones that spark multi-Comment discussions back and forth between our readers (and yes, we do read each and every Comment). Why? Because it means you are taking an interest in Pulse and what we do ~ and that’s exactly why we publish the magazine and put on events ~ FOR YOU! We do it to entertain you, bring you together, and put stuff out there that inspires you to voice your opinions.

That said ~ this year it seems like there were a lot of misconceptions about the WMAs, so we figured we’d set the record straight and let you in on exactly how the nominating, voting, and final winner tallying work. There’s no secret panel, no Pulse judges, in fact there’s no Pulse influence at all! In a nutshell, the more fans a band or solo act can get to nominate and then vote for them, the better chance they’ll wind up winning in their category. It’s that simple ~ the winners get to be winners because of YOU, their fans!

First, we announce in the print version of Pulse and on thepulsemag.com that the nominating will begin on a certain date. By the time that date arrives, we’ve set up the on-line nominating form. It’s totally automated, so, as you know, all you have to do is key in your nomination for each category. Our hands NEVER touch the nominations (that’s why we ask you to double-check your spelling, so that your nomination gets counted for the person/place you intended it for) ~ in fact, we’re as eager to see the final list of nominations as you are!

Then, after the nominating period is over, we’re left with a huge list of nominees ~ and, based on the tallies that the program we use “spits out,” we extract JUST the top 4 nominees in each category…and that becomes the list that we post on-line so that you can start your voting (and yes, the program we use can tell if you’ve nominated/ voted more than once in each category, so it disregards those votes).

So, the bands, solo artists, and venues you’re voting for in the final round are those that got the most nominations from the public ~ we don’t suggest them or choose them, they come directly from YOU. When bands do a great job of getting the word out to their fans to nominate them, they’re way more likely to end up on that final list. On the flip side of that coin, there are some AMAZING bands out there that don’t even make it into the top 4 nominees ~ and that might be simply because they didn’t have a chance to rally their fans, so not enough people nominated them. Remember, the Awards are a chance for fans to really show their support for their faves!

Finally, once the voting closes, we go through the same electronic tallying process to extract the WINNER (the nominee with the most votes) in each category.

That list of winners is top-secret ~ only two people in our organization know the winners until they’re announced LIVE at the Awards…and they’re sworn to silence!

There you go ~ that’s the whole process. As you can see, it’s pretty much in your hands with a little help from a computer program. We don’t get to choose the nominees or the winners, but we do get to host one kick-ass event that celebrates ALL local musicians, winners and non-winners alike ~ so next year, nominate, vote, and keep leaving Comments ~ this is YOUR Awards show, so we want you as involved as possible!