When Friendships Are Put to the Test
By Alex Kantarelis

Relationships lead to a lot things. But one thing they almost always lead to is the breakup. We’ve all been there. Suddenly you’re single, alone, unhappy, heartbroken, miserable, and basically… pathetic. It’s a tough thing to go through. But to me, what has always been worse is when your friends breakup. You have to deal with everything like it’s your own relationship coming to an end, even though it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s quite possibly the biggest burden that comes with friendship. I’d rather help a friend move, steal a car, or jump off the roof of a somewhat high building. Pretty much anything is better than dealing with this problem.

So it all begins with the inevitable… the couple you are friends with breakup. And all hell breaks loose. Every minute becomes a therapy session. It’s the only topic of conversation. They stop eating and sit around pouting all day, reminiscing about the old days. MySpace and Facebook status changes, and people start asking a whole lot of questions.

Things really start to get ugly when you personally have to deal with it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m always there for my friends. But there’s only so many times you can hear “She was the one, man!” or “I’m going to be alone forever!”

Other guys have a more bizarre way of dealing with heartbreak. They make a proclamation to forever forget the past girlfriend just before a night out. This will be a night to remember! At the bar, they start trying to hook up with every girl they see, and wind up making a total ass of themselves along the way. When they fail (which is 90% of the time) to get the girl, they take it out on everyone and everything around them. At the end of the evening, when the alcohol has slowed and the eardrums are adjusting to the silent car ride home, the friend falls into a love sick monologue that includes a lot of questions, and no time for answers.

Then the battle lines are drawn, and it’s like being in a war. And we’ve been drafted. Whether we like or it or not, we’re thrown into the mix of the love struck army. The friend becomes our General, barking out orders like “No conversing with the enemy!” or “Trust no one!” This poses a question. How does a couple breaking up lead to an entire group of friends breaking up? It just doesn’t make sense!

Most importantly, they cut off everyone from communication with the ex. You lose friends for no other reason than the fact that you must remain “loyal.” Forget about going to your favorite bar, because you might run into the dreaded ex, which would be the end of the world. Instead you’re forced to venture to new watering holes that are strange and unsettling. All normal procedures are thrown off course.

Then there’s the strangest of all situations, when you’re out somewhere and you run into your friend’s former lover, but your friend is not around. What’s the right thing to do? Do you say hello and start a conversation? In your mind you can hear friend saying, “You’ve betrayed me!” Or do you just ignore the person and pretend the two of you were never friends. The mind can race with all these different scenarios and it can be extremely frustrating. Frustration grows even more with the realization that all these changes had nothing to do with you. You’re just thrown in the middle.

So what to do? I say just don’t put your friends in that situation. Can’t we all just get along? For the sake of sanity?