Giuliano D’Orazio

It’s no secret that we’re living through some trying times. Words like ‘unprecedented,’ ‘uncertain’ and ‘historic’ have peppered news broadcasts and television ads for almost a year now. The sheer saturation of bad news might be enough to desensitize you, if it wasn’t so… scary. Let’s face it. It’s frightening. COVID death tolls continue to rise across the country, each day surpassing the last record, a White Supremacist insurrection shook the Capitol and the country last month, economic insecurity plagues countless families and small businesses, and, for what feels like the first time, we had to wonder “will we actually see a peaceful transition of power in the United States”. I know I spend a lot of words in these columns encouraging action, awareness and engagement in the civic process, because, if I can do one thing when writing to my siblings in the queer community, it would be to help galvanize our influence in shaping public discourse and policy. However, as important as that is, we’re not much good to ourselves or others if we don’t feel good. This month, I want to talk about the importance of self-care, for maintaining mental, physical, and spiritual wellness is paramount if we want to inject compassion and justice into our Society.

I’ll speak for myself here, but one of the (if not the) most important elements of my self-care is making time for creativity. I’m a musician by trade, but even for those who don’t work in the arts, tapping into your own unique creative energy, is life-giving. It’s an essential part of our beings, and to me, a very spiritual pursuit. Making something from nothing, problem solving, seeing beyond the surface. These are all elements of creative thinking, and we can nurture that in many ways. I know from personal experience, and also from talking to fellow artists, this past year has given us more time on our hands, but that hasn’t always translated to more productivity, in fact, for many it’s just resulted in burn-out and writer’s block. Personally, I was able to mitigate some of the creative stagnation by feeding my mind. Reading authors that stretch my preconceptions, and seeking out new music to actively listen to. Active listening really spurs creativity, and I don’t think enough of us really do it. I’m not talking about cranking up your favorite song in the car; I’d call that cathartic listening. Try this: turn off the lights, maybe light a candle or some incense, and put on an entire album, not just a song or a playlist. Close your eyes and get inside the song. Listen to specific instruments, hone in on the lyrics, whatever pulls your attention, but really focus in the way you would if you were reading a book and didn’t want to forget it. I’m telling you it can be Transformative.

Physical and spiritual self-care is also so important. Sometimes this looks like a warm bath with candles, or playing hooky for a day of netflix and chill. Sometimes though, it looks like tracking your habits (I highly recommend the ‘Clear Habit Journal’ by Baron Fig), setting boundaries and sticking to your goals. We’ve lost a lot of structure from the external flow of day to day life, so I’ve found it very grounding to create some structure for myself at home. Meditation as a practice, or whatever way you might connect with spirit/universe/god is essential. We have to erase the blackboard once in a while, and that’s what meditation does for me. Exercise and eating right are also important, as is watching our alcohol intake when we’re left to our own devices night after night. I’m not the best at any of those things, but I’ve found sticking to a yoga practice, and not being afraid to pick it back up after you’ve slacked off, is a game changer.

Perhaps more than anything else, this past year has stripped us of the socialization and spontaneity that keeps us happy, healthy and sane. It can feel weird or like one more task to do, but connecting with friends and relatives remotely actually helps. We might be a few months out existing relationships can help us feel the connection and the love we all need to survive. Take care of yourselves and one another as we seem to be nearing the home stretch with COVID, as vaccinations are slowly being rolled out. A little self-love and patience will go a long way in making sure we’re all healthy and ready to celebrate together when the time is right.