Giuliano D’Orazio

As the 2019 holiday season sets in, warm gatherings bring time for reflection, families reuniting and setting intentions for the year ahead. For many of us, however, the ‘most wonderful time of the year’ is anything but. It’s no secret that the holidays bring up uncomfortable and often triggering feelings for some. From dealing with the heartbreak of lost loved ones, to even more common frustrations surrounding financial stress, travel and inclimate weather, the days between November and January can pack a punch. The holiday strain can be even more taxing on members of the LGBTQ community. How can we mitigate these stresses and triggers, and with solidarity, support ourselves and one another through emotionally sensitive times?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, LGBTQ individuals are three times more likely to experience mental health struggles — regardless of the season. Stigma, outright homophobic attacks, and more common micro-agressions are all contributing factors to this statistic. Compound this with the already-stressful, expectation-laden holiday climate, and many of us find ourselves feeling less than merry.

One of the most difficult realities for so many queer people is the prospect of returning ‘home’ for the holidays. For some, their families may simply be ‘out of touch’ and ignorant to the reality of living life as a queer person in 2019. Whether or not the family is willing to be educated, bearing the burden of explanation can be anxiety producing, bringing more dread than excitement when it comes time to gather around the holiday feast. Dr. Logan Jones, who is a psychologist and head of NYC Therapy and Wellness, suggests creating an internal mantra of self-acceptance; something like: “I have the right to be me, I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, I have the right to distance myself from people and places that feel toxic.” I know that personally, developing these types of grounding techniques can be so helpful in weathering external triggers that are out of my control. Follow Dr. Jones on Instagram @drloganjones for more helpful strategies and inspiration.

In more extreme but far too common cases, LGBTQ folks may be completely estranged from their families, and returning home is simply not an option. As painful as that reality is, many of us find healing through creating a chosen family. Creating new traditions with people who love and support you is vital. For those of us in the community who have the capacity, it’s important to actively create these spaces and invite others to share.

If you find yourself struggling this holiday season, remember to put yourself first, and know that it’s okay to take breaks or distance yourself from toxic people and situations. Keep a strong support circle, and know who you can reach out to if you need help. Additionally, it can be tough to keep moving this time of year, but staying active is important. It may sound cliche, but exercise can really boost good brain chemistry and help reduce stress. Locally, organizations like LGBTQ Asylum Taskforce, AIDS Project Worcester, Love Your Labels and Safe Homes all have active social media accounts and various programming to help LGBTQ people through a variety of programming.

Giuliano D’Orazio (he/him pronouns) is a Worcester native, musician, music educator, active member of the local LGBTQ+ community, and a board member of Love Your Labels. Follow him on instagram @giuliano.music.