By Rachel Shuster

“Life is a lesson, take notes.” Well, my notebook is full!

Some things in life like love, friendship, school or work don’t always make sense, but I’m a girl who tries her damndest to get as close to the answer as possible. I’m no expert on life, but I’ve had my fair share of “life experiences.” Whether it’s my own dilemma, or something that’s on a friend or family member’s mind, there’s always something to learn from and share ~ and each month, that’s just what I’m going to do, share some of my observations on topics that you, our readers, send into Pulse at ldean@pagioinc.com!!

July’s Question of the Month (from Alyssa A., age 22): Who should pay on a first date?

OK, ladies and gents, among the million things you’re worrying about when going on a first date, who is going to pay ~ a topic hotly debated for nearly centuries now! ~ is probably still pretty close to the top of your list, whether you’re 18 or 38. We’ve all run into some pretty complicated scenarios, so how do you handle them?

Whoever invited pays? The inviter should definitely be prepared to pay, BUT as a courteous invitee, the other person should bring cash too. That kind of preparation is the perfect reciprocal gesture.

It’s the end of the night and the bill comes. Who grabs it? Should the grabber say, “Let’s split it,” wait for the other to offer, or pay it all? Whoever grabs it, the other should offer to contribute, at least paying the tip. Bonus points ~ The person who didn’t grab the check can say, “Since you’re getting it this time, it’s on me next time.” How’s that for a sly way of securing a second date 😉

What about BYOB (ahem, only if you and your date are both 21+)? If you provide the alcohol, should the other person offer to pay the bill, or suggest going for dessert and paying for that? No need to keep score, but offering something in return is most appreciated and the classy thing to do.

Now what if one person orders 5 mixed drinks and prime rib while the other orders a diet soda and a salad? The person with a stomach full of meat and a case of the spins should pay his (or her!) share. Next time, cool it with the gluttony!

Gift cards? People, let’s not bust out the 6 gift cards you’ve saved from Christmases past. Nothing says romance like scrounging up a handful of gift cards with odd amounts left on them ~ NOT!! Gift cards are great, but save them for a few dates in when you’re both really comfortable. The first date should be special, and you should make each other feel that way.

What if this is the worst date of your life? The other person is rude, eats with his or her mouth open, and is just plain horrible. Should you still be polite when it comes time to pay? Absolutely. No matter how awful the person is, still offer to contribute or pay your share. Be the better person!

Lesson learned? BOTH of you should be prepared. Don’t assume the other is going to pay, and don’t let that be the focal point of the evening. You’ll know by the end of the date where it’s headed. Just enjoy and be considerate of the other person! That alone will seal the deal for a second date.

XO,
Rachel