We’re Gonna Need a Medic!

By Thomas Hodgson

With the annualizing of every profitable franchise under their banner, Activision’s business model has become a failsafe way to dilute the integrity of all their classics (just look at how far Guitar Hero has fallen). It seems the degradation of Call of Duty isn’t far behind with this year’s Black Ops.

It’s tough for me going from the practically immaculate Modern Warfare 2, which was produced by Infinity Ward, to Black Ops, produced by Treyarch, a name synonymous with the profoundly underwhelming stains on the franchise. It’s like going from eating at a Bobby Flay restaurant to feasting on the scraps in the dumpster behind a Denny’s.

Aesthetically is where this game suits up for its JV scrimmage with Modern Warfare 2. It’s a side-by-side comparison of graphics with Picasso-like quality to a child’s Paint by Number. They produce no pop, making it difficult to distinguish an opposing player from some faded Clipart background. Weapon and player models are remedial and to call the level design anything greater than average would be generous. The sound effects are also noticeably duller and rob you of the chaos and intensity of a Modern Warfare firefight, making it more difficult to locate enemy foot traffic or hear bombs being defused.

Now if I had things my way, this review would be riddled with expletives of disgust, but the Editorial Gods would frown upon such language, so instead I shall simply state that Treyarch tried to go and make things their own, and in the process lost the essence of what made multiplayer so quintessential. For instance, the perks in Modern Warfare 2 were divided harmoniously into their three separate categories. Now I can’t use Marathon with Ninja? Scavenger doesn’t replenish claymores? Stopping Power is removed? And wait, it gets better.

The new killstreaks are deafeningly lackluster, highlighted by the inclusion of the RC-XD exploding car at the three kill mark, a testament ~ alongside the hit detection and aiming mechanic ~ to just how unbalanced and dumbed down multiplayer has become at Treyarch’s helm.

Far and away the worst part is the spawns. They are without a doubt the most detrimental element to multiplayer and the worst I have witnessed in any game…EVER.

It’s a sad state of affairs when a game can profit above and beyond its predecessor simply because it shares the same name. It’s evident that Treyarch spent far too much time with the level of customization it implemented. The whole “It’s something different to play” spiel couldn’t be further from the truth, because it’s the same game done worse. Infinity Ward always manages to take the ball down the court with Call of Duty, which makes it all the more mind-numbing every time Treyarch can’t drive it to the hoop. This is just another case of a missed lay-up with a ladder next to the adjustable rim in their driveway.

Pros:
•    Nazi Zombies
•    Prevents the oil bearings of your Xbox 360’s DVD drive from drying out due to lack of use
•    Modern Warfare 1+2 come in a single package now for roughly the same price    •    Marred with wretched spawns

Cons:
•    Terrible hit detection
•    Graphics that look like a PowerPoint presentation
•    A plot highlighted by 20,000 exploding barrels

Rating: 67%