They’re from Mars and We’re from Venus….
So Can Interplanetary Dating Work?
By Linnea Sheldon

If men and women are from different planets, how similar can our views on relationships and dating be? The Pulse wanted to find out, so we asked a handful of people ages 20 – 28 from all along the dating/relationship spectrum to find out just where our differences lie ~ and whether there are any similarities at all. Many of the people we spoke with had very strong opinions on the more important topics, but they reported that they’re also willing to be a little flexible if they think they’ve found The One. Most of the more trivial topics were not such a big deal to either the men or the women, but both genders definitely had their preferences.

We asked the women if it would bother them if a woman were flirting with their man right in front of them. The answers ran the complete gamut from yes it would be a turn on to no, that’s downright disrespectful and not all right at all.

When we asked the men if they would be all right with a woman who flirted with other men in front of them the answers were all different as well. Some men didn’t think it would be all right under any circumstances, while some men figure that since they want a woman who is friendly and outgoing it would be all right as long as it didn’t cross the line.

As for whether they would be uncomfortable being in a relationship with a taller man, the women that I talked to all agreed that they would prefer the guy to be taller. Erika P. and Stacy R. from Worcester, both under 5ft. 4”, pointed out that they are so short to begin with that having a guy shorter than they are would be a turn off (and hard to find, even if that’s what they did want!). Allie M. from Westborough said if he were the right guy in other aspects she wouldn’t care one way or another, but she also admitted that she usually looks at the taller guys in the room first.

The guys didn’t seem to care if the woman they were with were taller than they are either. Kevin B. from Paxton said, “I currently date someone shorter than me, but in general, I am very attracted to taller women and would most certainly date someone taller then me, as long as she had other appealing qualities as well.”

When asked what the biggest red flag would be when first getting to know someone, everyone had something different to say. Erika said that anyone who just talks about themselves and how great they are is a huge turn-off for her. Stacy said that based on personal experience her biggest turn-off is anyone who doesn’t introduce her to friends or family or who is conveniently broke all the time. Allie said her biggest red flag is when a guy won’t answer the phone in front of you, just checking caller ID and letting it go to voicemail, and then never answering his phone when you call, but calling back a couple of minutes later. In her book that is a big red flag that points to the fact that you’re probably the “other woman” in his life.

For the men, the red flags varied a little. Kevin said his biggest no-no is when a girl lies about things, anything from personal history to finances to where she was and whom she was with the night before. Rob M. doesn’t like girls who constantly check their reflection in anything they can find, from mirrors to windows to dinner knives. Matt G. from Fitchburg said his biggest red flag is a girl who drops everything to do something with him. “If it seems like she has no life other than me, especially at the beginning of the relationship, then something is wrong,” he explained.

As for the whole “meeting the parents” thing, just about everyone agreed that it’s not as important as it used to be. Rob said he doesn’t think meeting the parents should happen unless the relationship is very serious. Erika did point out that meeting the parents does give you some insight into the person you are dating, though, so you should use it to your advantage.

As for what women talk about when the guys aren’t around, Erika said it’s men, Stacy joked that she’s too busy waiting for a guy to call to talk about anything else (and she really was joking!), and Allie said, “We talk about EVERYTHING, and it would probably shock a guy if he heard us.”

When we asked the guys if they were always honest about what they want in a relationship we got some suspicious answers. Kevin said, “No, but neither are females. Depending on where you are in your life, you may enter into a relationship for many different reasons. However, you should always be honest about your intentions. Most women will appreciate the honesty. As long as you are both on the same page about what you both want out of the relationship, then the less of a chance someone will end up getting hurt if things don’t work out.”

When we asked Rob M. this last question he said, “Men are never honest.”

Yikes. But hey, he said it, we didn’t!