thePULSEStarting a Family
In Massachusetts, GLBT couples have more options than they do in other states.
For those interested in adoption, legalities are often the leading concern. An attorney who specializes in family law can usually answer prospective parents’ questions. When a couple decides to go with alternative insemination by donor [AID] or with the adoption of one partner’s biological child, the non-biological parent must have a lawyer.
Generally, if the situation is not complicated by factors like absentee biological (legal) parents or past criminal records, these types of adoptions go smoothly but are moderately expensive, ranging from $500 to $2,000 depending on the lawyer’s and the court’s fees. Waiting for a court date is often the most frustrating part of the process. It can take months from the time the paperwork is filed until the date is assigned. Sometimes, though, if the couple is lucky, it may take only a few weeks.
Legally, home visits and announcements (legal notification of the request for adoption) are necessary, but sometimes these requirements are waived, most commonly for couples who have chosen insemination by anonymous donor sperm with the non-biological parent seeking second parent adoption.
In Massachusetts, where GLBT individuals now enjoy the same rights and benefits of legal marriage as do heterosexuals, it is no longer required that non-biological parents adopt the child to obtain legal rights as parents. However, official adoption is still recommended; without it, the minute a family crosses state lines the parent is considered a legal stranger to the child and can be denied decision-making rights in the event of an emergency.
Some GLBT singles and couples prefer to adopt children who need families, children who are wards of the state in the custody of The Department of Social Services [DSS]. These children are often victims of abuse or neglect and start out as foster children. Some eventually go back to live with family members, but others are declared legally free for adoption.
Each year, thousands of children go to live in foster care, and many will never have a permanent family. Some, however, are very lucky. One plus of adopting through the state of Massachusetts is that there are no fees to be paid by the adoptive parent(s). Other benefits include training and access to countless resources provided by the state. Many prospective parents start out as foster parents and pursue adoption from there. Julia and Tracey Emond-Parkin of Worcester are a married couple who recently adopted two sisters, Brittany, 10, and Briana, 7. After discussing it and making the initial call, Julia and Tracey started attending foster parenting classes. Soon after, they were cleared by the state as a couple suited for adopting a child. The training that they received helped them take on many of the demanding aspects of parenting.
In Florida, the Emond-Parkin family would not be the same because although gays and lesbians can become foster parents to children in state custody, they cannot adopt them. Julia and Tracey know how fortunate they are that their family is considered equal in the eyes of Massachusetts law.
However, these women are not blind to the fact that their children may encounter some challenges. Julia and Tracey focus on building their girls’ confidence through sports, activities, academics, friends and family time. They hope that if and when challenged, Brittany and Briana will have good senses of self and the tolerance to deal with prejudice towards their family. But for right now, the girls are busy behaving like average kids their age and the family has received nothing but love and support from family and friends.
Another option for GLBT people hoping to adopt is international adoption. Many single and coupled gays and lesbians create their families by traveling to China, Russia, Romania, Guatemala and many other countries to adopt children who need parents.
This is the most expensive type of adoption, ranging from $10,000 to $50,000, and it is usually accomplished through a private agency. Depending on the country, many GLBT couples can only adopt when one person is perceived as ‘single’ and the other as a ‘friend’ or roommate.
In Massachusetts, the child is typically adopted by one parent and then, after a period of several months, the second parent can usually adopt as well with no difficulties. China is a common choice for many gay couples, but its strict laws prohibit gays from adopting, hence the importance of the friend/roommate perception.
GLBT people living in Massachusetts have a range of options for starting a family, from hiring a surrogate mother to co-parenting with another gay person. In any case, having the right information is essential and being comfortable with an attorney is crucial.
To locate a local, gay-friendly family lawyer, email the Central Mass Business Council at CMBCservices@verizon.net. This is an organization of GLBTfriendly businesses and has many lawyers in its membership.
