Valentine ’s Day — aka “the momentary savior to dried-out relationships.” The pink and purple hearts conquer retail for a month’s time, reminding you to hustle and purchase treats for your partner like clockwork. In fact, the “holiday” is so ingrained into American culture that it raises the question of whether or not these acts of kindness are out of our own hearts or out of obligation to society.

Maintaining a genuine relationship with your partner year-round isn’t always easy, so here are some tips on how to make every day as special as Valentine ’s Day.

Prioritizing your partner

Learn how to step away from convenience. Social media and 24/7 connectivity aren’t necessarily bad things, but they can drown us in convenience by taking away the attention our loved ones deserve. Being late for a date before instant technology used to be a roller coaster ride of emotions for the one waiting, but now, it’s as simple as shooting an “I’ll be late” text. What once may have put a relationship on the line is now easy to fix. Refrain from this by making your partner your No. 1 priority.

Protect your time together

Paul Looseman, 31, of St. Louis, Mo., has a private practice as a licensed professional counselor with experience in Gottman Couples Method Training. Looseman said protecting your time together and spending time together are two different things. A couple can easily spend time watching a movie, but they may be distracted and emotionally distant. If you’re going to do something together, be sincere and set aside possible distractions. These intentions show devotion to your partner and encourage a more genuine relationship.

“Make your partner your best friend. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, this is a must,” said Looseman. “If they don’t want to build that relationship with you, that’s a huge red flag.” Your partner should want to know all things about you and prioritize you as someone who he or she couldn’t live without.

Strengthen your relationship

“Keep them involved in everything,” said Ryan Michaels, a 25-year-old spouse and father from Worcester. “When you’re single, or even when you’re dating, at the end of the day, you make your own decisions. But when you’re married, there’s two people, so you have to make a decision together.”
Listen and empathize
According to Looseman, partners are bound to have different perspectives and understandings due to their own personal upbringings. Therefore, make intentional attempts to empathize with your partner. Show concern over things that bother him or her and show support for things he or she is excited about. Understand that you won’t always see things the same way, but make an attempt to step into the other’s shoes and recognize how they feel.

“Learn about one another on a deeper level,” said Looseman. If you know how your partner will react in a variety of situations, you can offer them the best support. This means conversing about topics such as sex, work and home life. Getting to know your partner as fully and deeply as possible will assure a resilient relationship.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle

Balance work with your relationship. We live in a generation where success in the workplace is the ultimate goal for many. We are submerged in a world of workaholics and lazy lovers. Take that hard-working ethic and bring it into home life. Sacrifice a late night at work to make dinner for your loved one. A word of advice to married workaholics: “Put your spouse above your career. Don’t make your job your second marriage,” said Michaels.

Understand hard things make relationships grow

There are bound to be trials and tribulations during any long-term relationship, but Looseman said these difficult times will provide insightful lessons and benefit the relationship. Challenges deliver opportunities to learn about one another and create trust. Don’t lose hope when challenges arise, but trust that you may just come away learning something wonderful.

Engage your partner in the little things

“Romance is a part of life; the two shouldn’t be separated,” said Looseman. You can be sexy and intentional in the way you do routine things. Even if it’s just meeting your partner on his or her emotional plane to encourage a good mood in the household or listening to your partner talk about the day. Engaging your partner in the little things tweaks what may have once been boring into an adventure.

Valentine’s Day may be the handy work of capitalism, but the concept behind the madness is a beautiful thing. Don’t let Valentine’s Day be the only day of the year you devote attention to your partner — make it another lovely day in an adventurous year.