The rules for regifting

We’ve all done it, but is it really OK to re-gift? Diane Gottsman is a national modern manners and etiquette expert, sought out industry leader, accomplished speaker, author and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas.

Gottsman says “It is perfectly appropriate to give another person an item that doesn’t fit you or suit your particular needs or lifestyle. The only caveat is to proceed with respectful caution.”

Gottsman offers these rules for re-gifting:

Keep it in the original box. Don’t switch out a sweater from a less expensive name brand store into a bag that appears more chic and exclusive. Keep in mind the receiver may love it but might want to return it for another size or color without telling you.

Re-gift away from the same circle of friends. In a perfect world, the person that would most love your re-gift and put it to good use would live in another city or state. That would take care of a lot of the stress of the original giver finding out.

Avoid a test run. A new gift is better than giving something that you have already worn or used. If you try the gift out and decide it’s not for you, the better thing to do would be honest and offer it to another person by saying, “I love this cologne, but it doesn’t agree with me. I know it’s your favorite and I’d like for you to have it.”

Don’t delay. If the gift is a food item, you will want to give it to someone during its optimum window of freshness. Food re-gifts are a safe option because they are consumed fairly quickly ~ unless the giver waits too long or the receiver decides to re-gift it again.

Give with good intention. If you are confident that your friend or family member will appreciate the gift, by all means give it. Wrap it beautifully and be sure to include a pretty card.

Never re-gift ugly. The adage “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” may hold true, but if you find the gift to be used, old or ugly, don’t pass it on to someone you care about. If it’s something that perhaps is still good ~ just not gift-worthy ~ donate it to a nonprofit organization that can repurpose it.

Consider full disclosure. No one says you must give the gift as a “new” gift purchased by you. If the gift is pleasant, just not your particular taste, you can say, “Would you like this purse? It’s a bit large for me to carry around, but I know you love larger bags.”

Think twice before giving away a family heirloom or something handmade. There is a time and place to justify giving away a gift you have been given. When the present is from someone whose feelings would be extremely hurt if they knew the gift had been given away, take one for the team and put the gift away in a safe place. Bring it out when they visit and use it if it’s important to them. You are showing courtesy and respect for your friend or family member.

“The third Thursday in December is National Re-gifting Day, established by regiftable.com. You may want to mark your calendar,” Gottsman said.

Diane Gottsman specializes in executive leadership and etiquette training, with clients ranging from university students to Fortune 500 companies, and her seminars cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media. Her advice is backed by a master’s degree in sociology with an emphasis on adult behavior. Visit dianegottsman.com and protocolschooloftexas.com.